Stan Cola out, Duffles in
The Lawrentian, February 4, 1977.
This is the first year that Trivia will emanate from WLFM's new studios in the Seeley G. Mudd Memorial Quanset Hut. Because the studios are hard to find and space here is limited, if you have a complaint that you want to make in person, go down to the old studios in the Con and lay into Mr. Prebys. You'll feel a whole lot better.
This year a new phone system in being tried out. Contestants will be asked to phone their next of kin when answering questions or they may dial Trivia '77's sophisticated answering service-Pizza Orgy at 602 on campus and 731-1324 off campus. A new switching system has been installed to handle the volume of calls and those which cannot be handled will either receive a busy signal or a sausage and scum pizza.
Back again this year giving Trivia players spiritual advice and a hard time will be St. Tuchulus, the Jewish Patron Saint of Christmas. After a 32 year hiatus in the Vienna Woods (where he kept to a strict diet of Cheetos and Valvoline) St. Tuchulus has returned to ensure that the Larry U. switchboard receives no Trivia calls or he will fill your ears with tree sap.
Jeopardy will not be played this year (Don Pardo finked out). In its place will be Sucjer's Shut Out on Sat. and Sun. evenings at 8:00. This will be a 15 minute series of questions that the Masters challenge anyone to answer. Special awards will be given to any animal, vegetable, or Lawrentian capable of answering more than two of them in one session. The questions will be tougher than a Downer Swiss steak, so good luck suckers.
Phone answerers, fellow travelers, and other fifth columnists are needed throughout the contest, but again, no marathoning will be allowed unless you want to listen to Page's problems.
Because last year's t-shirts caused many people to suffer severe bouts of confusion and disorientation, this year's t-shirts will only be sold during months with "r" in them. So hurry up. For $2.50 they are tastelessly emblazoned with a family portrait of John Foster Dulles and prominently feature the secret mantra of millions: OHM'S OHM.
Stan Cola, the world's only tuna flavored soft drink, has disgracefully withdrawn its sponsorship from Trivia 77. It seems that during last year's contest more of the deep sea delight was returned than was ever produced. In its inimitable place Trivia 77 heartily welcomes Eggner Bisquick's Home Style Duffel Cakes with the taste of real duffel. (Watch the cracks - they were the only sponsor we could get.) They'll be cutting up duffel cakes for players and phone answerers throughout the contest. By the way, they're dispensed in rest rooms around the country and are the sailor's friend.
P.S. Audio recording equipment, such as a tape recorder, could be of great benefit to all the teams planning to play trivia this weekend.